Challenging Ageism: Why We Must Stand Up Against Age Discrimination

This article is adapted from my book – Magnificent Midlife: Transform Your Middle Years, Menopause and Beyond.

As women navigate midlife, there’s a growing awareness of the challenges we face—particularly the toxic combination of ageism and sexism. This combination affects every aspect of our lives, from our professional opportunities to our sense of self-worth. Women over 45 often find it difficult to stay in or re-enter the workforce, and the societal pressure to conform to youthful ideals can diminish our confidence. However, there’s a shift happening. More women are realizing that just because things have always been this way, it doesn’t mean they have to remain so.

We owe much of this shift to the baby boomer generation. They have challenged the status quo and redefined what it means to age. Instead of quietly accepting society’s outdated narratives, they are actively reshaping expectations for what life can look like in later years. Their refusal to be sidelined has opened doors for future generations to live fully and authentically in midlife and beyond.

A pivotal voice in this movement is Ashton Applewhite, whose work has been instrumental in challenging ageist attitudes. Like many women, I initially internalized ageism when I entered menopause at the age of 41. With an average life expectancy of 81 for women in the UK, I was undeniably in midlife, yet I found myself resisting the label. It wasn’t until I discovered Ashton’s TED Talk, Let’s End Ageism, and her book, This Chair Rocks, that I began to unravel the deep-seated ageism within myself. Her insights were life-changing, helping me see that aging isn’t a decline but a natural and empowering part of life. Ashton says that ageism begins between our ears, with our internal dialogue—narratives ingrained in us from a lifetime of exposure to ageist messages. This is really useful to realize! Listen to my podcast interview with Ashton here.

We’re conditioned to believe that gray hair and wrinkles must be hidden, and that youth is the ultimate ideal. This pressure leads women to invest in anti-aging products and procedures, not because aging is inherently undesirable, but because society has taught us to see it that way. The idea that aging is a problem to be solved is nothing more than propaganda.

When early menopause hit me, my internalized ageism was a significant source of distress. I had unknowingly bought into society’s negative narratives about aging. I believed that older women were less valuable and that youth was synonymous with energy and innovation. I had been complicit in sidelining older women at work, assuming they were no longer relevant. But as I grappled with my own experience of menopause, I began to question these beliefs. I realized that being postmenopausal didn’t align with how I felt about myself or my future. I wasn’t losing power—I was just starting to find it.

The COVID-19 pandemic exposed ageism on a global scale. We witnessed governments, at times, view older people as less valuable than younger generations. In the early days of the crisis, some leaders considered sacrificing the well-being of the elderly in order to preserve the freedom of the young and healthy. This attitude was a stark reminder that ageism remains an acceptable prejudice in our society. If we don’t tolerate discrimination based on race or gender, why do we allow it based on age?

It’s time to reframe how we view aging, especially in midlife. Rather than accepting outdated narratives, we can challenge the biases that hold us back and embrace a more positive, empowered view of growing older.

Rewriting toxic age narratives and embracing positive aging

The phrase “anti-aging” has long held sway over our culture, but fortunately, its grip is slowly beginning to loosen. For too long, women have been pressured to purchase anti-aging products as early as their twenties. The marketing behind this is relentless, designed to fuel insecurities and promote the false notion that youth equals beauty. The anti-aging industry is worth billions! But let’s be real: being “anti-aging” is about as useful as being “anti-nighttime.” Aging, like the setting of the sun, is inevitable, and resisting it is a futile endeavor. Instead, we should adopt a more empowering stance—one of being pro-aging or age-positive.

It’s time to shift our perception of beauty and remove any age-related boundaries. Many women look back at their younger years as the epitome of beauty, only to now feel diminished in comparison. But that mindset is flawed. We are perfect as we are—whether big, small, young, old, or anywhere in between. Beauty does not fade with time; it evolves, much like the way autumn leaves are just as beautiful as spring blossoms. They’re different, but both are worthy of admiration.

The toxic narratives around aging aren’t just about appearances. They often suggest that life after a certain age is a slow decline, a time to step back and become less relevant. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Midlife need not be not a crisis; it can be a powerful new chapter, full of potential.

This is a rallying cry to rewrite these damaging ageist narratives, to fight ageism and age discrimination. It’s an invitation to embrace who we are in midlife and beyond. We are vibrant, beautiful, sexy, and relevant, no matter our age. And when we fully embrace our power, both we and the world stand to benefit immensely.

I always say that the end of my fertility has become the most fertile time of my life. Whether or not we’ve had children, the post-menopausal phase brings with it a new hormonal profile, new aspirations, and new desires. While society has conditioned us to see these changes as negative, they are, in fact, the opposite. This stage of life is an opportunity for growth, problem-solving, and personal fulfillment.

Fortunately, the tide is turning. More and more women are embracing positive aging, rejecting outdated notions that they are less relevant simply because they’re growing older. We are redefining what it means to age and refusing to sit quietly on the sidelines. We’ve fought to have it all, and no one is going to tell us to give it all up just because we’re getting older. This is our time to flourish, not fade.

The power of women’s voices in midlife: a call to action

Women have immense power when we unite and raise our voices. This truth was vividly demonstrated during the Women’s March of December 2017, which followed the election of President Trump and coincided with the rise of the #MeToo movement. That moment in history, fueled by the growing outcry for justice, proved the strength of collective female activism. I was among the many women in Washington, D.C., standing alongside women of all ages, unified by a shared voice. While we may not all agree on the details of protests or movements, it’s undeniable that collective action, even when clouded by issues such as white privilege or class disparity, wields great power.

As we grow older, we often find our voices becoming stronger, bolder, and more challenging. Have you noticed this shift within yourself? Aging brings a sense of freedom; we tend to care less about what held us back in our youth. With age, a voice long muffled begins to emerge. Menopause and shifting hormones play their part, unlocking new levels of expression and courage. Take Jane Fonda, for example—now 87, she moved to Washington, D.C., and regularly engages in climate protests, even getting arrested for her convictions. While most of us may not follow her exact path, her relentless spirit is something to admire.

The #MeToo movement prompted widespread reflection on what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. Issues that once flew under the radar are now illuminated by public scrutiny. Women, in particular, are no longer willing to tolerate a status quo imposed by patriarchal norms. Today, we’re seeing a growing awareness that each of us can make a difference, regardless of age or background. The global pandemic and the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement in 2020 further underscored the injustices so deeply woven into society. When one group’s rights are compromised, it threatens us all.

More than ever, women—especially as we age—are stepping up and speaking out. I believe this increased demand for social justice will spark positive change across many areas of society. If there were ever a time for older women to find their voices, that time is now. The world is changing, and so are we. Our wisdom, born of experience, is needed. It’s time to recognize our inherent power and trust the voices we discover in midlife. When we do, we can transform our lives and the world around us.

Global implications

Age discrimination against older adults is not merely a personal battle; it reflects systemic issues impacting the health outcomes of older individuals. The World Health Organization has emphasized that negative attitudes and stereotypes surrounding aging significantly affect the quality of life for older persons, contributing to social isolation and even cardiovascular disease. We know that positive age beliefs can add 7 years to life. The effects of ageism are far-reaching, extending from interpersonal interactions to institutional practices, and can lead to detrimental consequences for people of all ages.

As we confront the implications of self-directed ageism and negative age stereotypes, we must also recognize the vital role of public awareness and education in combating age-based discrimination. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and various labor organizations are crucial in advocating for the rights of older workers, helping to dismantle discriminatory practices that hinder their opportunities and overall well-being. A University of Michigan National Poll highlights the need for intergenerational interventions that foster understanding and collaboration among younger workers and older adults.

The current climate calls for a shift in our cultural narrative regarding aging, one that embraces the realities of the aging process rather than perpetuating ageist beliefs. With the increasing prevalence of mental health challenges among older adults, it’s imperative to address the negative impact of ageism on mental health and cognitive decline. This includes recognizing the importance of human rights and health equity for people of different ages, as well as promoting positive attitudes toward aging.

As we strive for a society that values people of all ages, we must actively reject the ageist idea that older individuals are less relevant. Instead, we should celebrate the richness of experience they bring to the table. It’s time to foster a culture of inclusion and respect, where the voices of older persons are not only heard but empowered. By challenging discriminatory practices and advocating for the rights of older adults, we can create a more equitable future that benefits everyone. The journey toward healthy aging begins with us—let’s embrace it together, turning ageism awareness into action and redefining what it means to age gracefully in a society that values all its members.