Episode 57: Help for toxic relationships with Dr Rhoberta Shaler

An empowering discussion with Dr Rhoberta Shaler, the relationship help expert. She helps people to recognize and recover from the toxic relationships that can make us crazy!

Click here to read a summary transcription of this podcast episode.

We talk about:
• How to define a toxic relationship
• The pressure that gets put on relationships
• What Rhoberta means by a hijackal in a relationship
• How a hijackal looks for power, status and control
• How to identify a hijackal
• All or nothing thinking and how insidious that is
• What to do if you find that’s the kind of relationship you have
• How to recognize and deal with gaslighting in a relationship
• Resisting the temptation to think we can nurture the hijackal out of their behaviour
• Rhoberta’s ABB formula – Always believe the behaviour
• Relationship breakdown in midlife – often the behaviour becomes more evident without other variable in the home
• We deserve to have relationships with equality, reciprocity and mutuality bringing true intimacy
• You don’t need approval from someone you don’t approve of – Rachel’s big aha moment
• Ending the justification of bad behaviour and making different choices
• Taking off the rose coloured glasses and seeing red flags
• Having to cut people out of your life if necessary or at least distance yourself from them
• Strategies for dealing with toxic relationships
• Identifying this behaviour in public life too