Podcast

Episode 59: Managing anxiety with Trish Beauchamp

Managing anxiety

Trish Beauchamp is a coach who helps women navigate change in relationships due to divorce, death or disconnection. She spent 35 years as a teacher and then experienced her own midlife unravelling facing personal challenges with health, relationships and her change in career. She joins me to talk about anxiety, cos I thought we could all do with some help in that particular area. You can read a summary of this interview here.

• Why anxiety can be such an issue in midlife for many women
• How midlife can be less of a crisis and more of an unravelling
• Allowing ourselves to feel the feelings not fighting against them
• The vagus nerve and how it can decrease our heighted levels of stress
• Taking the time to create what we need to bring ourselves back into balance
• Depression being about the past and anxiety about the future
• Recognising the impact of sensory overload on our wellbeing
• Recognising when overwhelm is getting to dangerous levels
• Adding in self-care options to ensure we can live well
• Identifying the triggers for anxiety
• Reframing thoughts and changing neural pathways
• Staying curious about what’s going on and ditching any sense of shame
• Not feeling guilty about how we’re responding to Covid
• Controlling what we can and not worrying about the rest
• Looking for the elements that can bring us hope for the future
• Not allowing fear to compromise our immune system
• Being gentle and compassionate towards ourselves
• The three coping Cs – curiosity, compassion, connection
• Remembering we have a choice in how we respond
• Instant ways to shift your mind and emotions to another state when you’re totally overwhelmed by anxiety

And more!

Find out more about Trish:

Trish’s website

Facebook and Linkedin

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Episode 58: Ditching imposter syndrome with Clare Josa

Ditching imposter syndrome

Clare Josa is an author of 8 books, a speaker, an NLP trainer and a leadership mentor. She started out as an engineer and uses a lot of that discipline in her soul-engineered leadership work.
She says that “changing the world isn’t so much about what you do, as about who you allow yourself to become. “

We talk about:

  • How Clare moved from engineering to doing what she does now
  • Sexism in engineering when she started out
  • Moving into market research at Dyson
  • Wanting to work with people instead of machines and make a difference
  • Bringing the woo into engineering and personal development
  • How men are often more open to the woo and energy work than women
  • Teaching energy work experientially so that everyone can get it
  • Women leaders can sometimes be wearing too much armour to embrace the more feminine aspects of leadership
  • The importance of being accepted for all of who we are
  • How work still doesn’t work for women who have responsibilities outside work
  • How Covid has helped many working women by forcing meetings and training to be online
  • Getting used to working and connecting on Zoom
  • The law profession as a hotbed for imposter syndrome
  • The difference between self-doubt and imposter syndrome
  • The 4 Ps of imposter syndrome
  • How people-pleasing can be a big issue for women
  • Midlife women and imposter syndrome
  • Menopause is the peak of imposter syndrome for women
  • Being hyper-vigilant to threat when under stress
  • Changing the ageist bias against older women
  • Why stress impacts hormones and makes menopausal brain fog and hot flushes even worse
  • Understanding negative self-talk and learning to stop it
  • The midlife identity shift
  • The dangers of judging ourselves
  • It’s never too late to get started on anything – take action today

And more!

Find out more about Clare:

Clare’s website

Linkedin, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Youtube

Access Clare’s Ditching Imposter Syndrome Training here: http://www.clarejosa.com/magnificentmidlife/

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Episode 57: Help for toxic relationships with Dr Rhoberta Shaler

Help for toxic relationships

An empowering discussion with Dr Rhoberta Shaler, the relationship help expert. She helps people to recognize and recover from the toxic relationships that can make us crazy!

Click here to read a summary transcription of this podcast episode.

We talk about:
• How to define a toxic relationship
• The pressure that gets put on relationships
• What Rhoberta means by a hijackal in a relationship
• How a hijackal looks for power, status and control
• How to identify a hijackal
• All or nothing thinking and how insidious that is
• What to do if you find that’s the kind of relationship you have
• How to recognize and deal with gaslighting in a relationship
• Resisting the temptation to think we can nurture the hijackal out of their behaviour
• Rhoberta’s ABB formula – Always believe the behaviour
• Relationship breakdown in midlife – often the behaviour becomes more evident without other variable in the home
• We deserve to have relationships with equality, reciprocity and mutuality bringing true intimacy
• You don’t need approval from someone you don’t approve of – Rachel’s big aha moment
• Ending the justification of bad behaviour and making different choices
• Taking off the rose coloured glasses and seeing red flags
• Having to cut people out of your life if necessary or at least distance yourself from them
• Strategies for dealing with toxic relationships
• Identifying this behaviour in public life too

And more!

Find out more about Rhoberta:

Rhoberta’s website

Podcasts/ Videos

Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, Pinterest and Instagram

Book mentioned in the podcast: Kaizen for Couples

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Episode 56: Challenge and resilience, solo with Rachel Lankester

Challenge and resilience

Every season I do a solo episode. I’m in contemplative mood again thinking about the challenging world we’re living in right now and how we can build our resilience.

I talk about:

  • Jacinda Ardern’s landslide victory in New Zealand
  • Women leading as women not trying to be men or by burning out
  • The impact of stress on our health
  • Covid making us all depleted and how important it is to replenish
  • My son coming home
  • Tricky conversations about race
  • Being open to being uncomfortable so we can continue to grow
  • My hopes for the US election
  • Living in a Covid world
  • Getting creative about festivals
  • Not being able to go visit my mum again
  • Staying positive

Since I recorded this, I became aware that the video I mentioned and which is included below, is not wholly correct. Trump did say there were fine people on both sides after the disturbances in Charlottesville, but he went on to say he was not talking about the white supremacists. I still have no doubt that he has stoked the fires of prejudice, but I wanted to point out that the video has taken his words out of context as did Joe Biden. I follow the line on the US election of Glennon Doyle in terms of not necessarily being happy with either alternative. But as she says, when the house is burning, you don’t wait for the fire brigade to turn up. You just get out of the burning house. 

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Episode 55: Fighting for social justice with Iffat Shahnaz

Iffat Shahnaz

Iffat Shahnaz is a lifelong campaigner committed to social justice and equality. She works with organisations committed to social change and tackling social exclusion and discrimination. She specialises in gender-based violence, community education, facilitation, service development and change management.

We talk about:

  • How Iffat became so passionate about social justice
  • The legacy of her parents and their story as children of partition
  • Being the child of immigrants from the former commonwealth
  • The family trauma that lead to Iffat wanting to make the world a better place for everyone
  • Going back to her parents’ village in India
  • The lack of safe passage when people are facing displacement, at the time of partition and now
  • Why her father was so keen that she should learn to swim
  • How the family managed to get to England from Pakistan
  • Racial abuse growing up in the West Midlands in school and on the street
  • Feeling hopeful despite systemic discrimination
  • The impact of Covid and the Black Lives Matter movement on global awareness of discrimination
  • Getting more aware of what’s going on and the importance of speaking up
  • Confronting racism wherever we find it
  • The importance of being anti-racist instead of just not racist
  • Acknowledging that we are different and that being colour-blind just doesn’t work
  • Understanding racism in the UK and how it differs to the US
  • ‘Good’ and ‘bad’ immigrants
  • The more insidious nature of racism in the UK today
  • How Covid has highlighted so many social justice-related and inequality issues
  • The disproportionate impact of Covid on BAME (Black and minority ethnic) communities
  • How Iffat feels about turning 50 this year
  • Growing our own wisdom as we age and having more of an impact on society as we get older

And more!

Find out more about Iffat:

LinkedIn and Twitter

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Episode 54: Women and leadership with Dr Joanna Martin

Women and leadership

An interview with Dr Joanna Martin founder of One of Many, a women’s leadership community which started in the UK and is now global through its online community and trainings. She was a medical doctor and an actor before finding her mission as a coach helping women lead.

You can read a summary transcription of this podcast: How To Facilitate More Female Leadership

We talk about:

  • Why Jo is so passionate about helping women step into leadership roles
  • The importance of grassroots women’s leadership
  • Why women tend to burn out so easily
  • The importance of setting boundaries so we can thrive better
  • Why women are generally more unhappy now than at the time of the Women’s Liberation Movement
  • Why women need to find a new kind of power to be consistently effective
  • How midlife women are often drawn to take more of a leadership role but need to find a way to do that without burning out
  • Reframing feminine power as soft power – it does not mean weak
  • We can bring more femininity to our lives without that being a mark against us
  • How Covid has brought out wonderful examples of soft power leadership from women
  • The five women’s power types and why they’re so powerful
  • How we can access these power types to help us face challenges and access our strength
  • The shared vision of women wanting to make a difference in the world
  • The power of women coming together to effect positive change such as in the NHS during Covid, detention centres and environmental initiatives
  • How Jo’s medical, family and drama background impacted her work today
  • The importance of seeing issues from multiple perspectives
  • The power of the habit of morning writing (Artist’s Way morning pages) and how that impacted Jo’s life
  • How women can become better leaders
  • Getting clear on our strengths and what we each can do

And more!

Find out more about Jo:

Jo’s website

One of many

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Youtube, and Linkedin

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Episode 53: Hot Flashes and Cool Topics with Colleen and Bridgett

Hot Flashes and Cool Topics

Meet the co-hosts of the Hot Flashes and Cool Topics podcast, Colleen Rosenblum and Bridgett Biagi Garratt.

We talk about:

  • Why they decided to start a podcast and how they came up with the name
  • How we are set on a path of life and when we get to midlife, it gets a bit confused!
  • How we need more of a sense of fulfilment in midlife.
  • The benefits of having a supportive partner despite them not listening to their podcast!
  • The importance of spreading the word about menopause and making it less taboo.
  • Raising awareness of menopause in the workplace and in doctors’ offices.
  • Differences in menopause awareness between the UK and the US.
  • Getting menopause on the school curriculum in the UK.
  • Trying to get a more positive perspective on menopause.
  • Understanding that women’s sexual desire starts in the brain.
  • Getting curious about what happens to women in midlife and through menopause.
  • Reframing the conversation about midlife to the future rather than the past.
  • The importance of looking forward rather than just backwards.
  • Moving beyond the overwhelming impression of loss as we go through menopause.
  • The huge benefits of being post menopause.
  • The lessons they’ve learnt from doing their podcast.

And more!

You can find out more about the Hot Flashes and Cool Topics podcast:

Website and Podcast

Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, and Twitter

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midlife sex
Podcast

Episode 52: Midlife sex with Dr Sonia Wright

midlife sex

Meet Dr Sonia Wright, the Midlife Sex Coach. She’s also a medical doctor, radiologist and life coach, and tremendous fun. This is a brilliant interview all about midlife sex. If you have any issues at all, even tiny ones, in this department, or just want to make your sex life even better, this interview will get you feeling inspired and empowered to take excellent care of yourself and your partner. Let’s all have more fun!

Click here to read a summary transcription of this podcast.

We talk about:

  • How Sonia went from being a radiologist to becoming a sex coach.
  • Understanding the pleasure gap between men and women
  • Moving beyond penis in vagina (PIV) sex
  • The importance of clitoral stimulation
  • How our libido changes as we age
  • Thinking about the many factors that may impact our libido
  • Our biggest sexual organ is the brain
  • Staying curious and exploring different ways to be sexual
  • Self-pleasure to maintain the blood supply to the vulval area
  • Feeling comfortable using lubricants
  • Your best sexual partner is yourself
  • The wonders of the clitoris and how much of is not visible
  • Why Sonia worked in a sex toy shop
  • The fun and pleasure you can get with sex toys
  • Sonia’s toy recommendations
  • Taking the pressure off men by bringing toys into the bedroom
  • Bringing sexual intimacy back when it’s completely slipped off the agenda
  • You can’t have great sex if there are relationship issues
  • A man can still have good sex and an orgasm without an erection
  • How society’s narratives impact our own concept of what is sexy
  • The importance of body image as we age

And more!

You can find out more about Dr Sonia:

Dr Sonia’s websites: www.themidlifesexcoach.com and  www.soniawrightmd.com

Instagram and  Linkedin

Resources:

Clitoris diagram here.  

Dr Sonia’s Free Intimacy Guide

Book your FREE Consultation with Dr Sonia here.

Smitten Kitten  – Use the discount code “drsonia” to get 20% discount

Sh! Emporium

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Creating your next chapter
Podcast

Episode 51: Creating your next chapter with Angela Raspass

Creating your next chapter

Angela Raspass is my mentor and she works with women to find, create and grow their next chapter in business and life. She’s as determined as I am to help women find passion, purpose and fulfilment in midlife and beyond. She also knows just how powerful we can be if we just believe in ourselves!

We talk about:
• How Angela moved from corporate to setting up a marketing business and finally becoming a business and life mentor
• Unpicking her sense of self-worth from running her business
• How she learnt that just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should
• Your business needs to serve you as much as your customers
• How women’s ability to contribute just expands as we age
• Self-doubt is the biggest issue for women and we need to dismantle our old stories
• Getting stuck in the conditioning and messages society gives us
• Learning to listen to our intuition and Angela’s next chapter model of change
• Moving through discontent and trying to work out what we want next
• What would you rant about on your soap box and who inspires you
• The inspiration Angela gets from Brené Brown
• Moving towards your desire and taking decisions
• Silencing your inner critic and finding belief buddies – don’t go it alone
• Acceptance commitment therapy (ACT) – actions first, confidence later
• Starting a business isn’t an easy path but can be incredibly rewarding
• Moving from face to face contact to online because of Covid
• Not being scared of technology or using lack of knowledge as an excuse
• No harm in getting help with the stuff that is difficult
• Applying self-compassion and being willing to pivot if we don’t get it right
• GOSCOP – Get off self, get on purpose – a good way to get back on track
• Feel Deal Heal – take time to feel the emotions, deal with them and heal ourselves
• Finding ways to fill the empty nest
• Building next chapters on skinned knees – learning from life experiences 

And lots more!                                 

You can find out more about Angela:

Your Next Chapter with Angela Raspass

Angela’s free Journey Board program

Angela’s Book:

Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Linkedin

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